have this very complex feeling around.. due to mani mani things which i also dont know myself how to elaborate.. sigh.. seeing some of my frens havin parents support to let them continue their studies where i dun have.. wanted to work myself and earn the cash seems so tough for me.. well..

work is still neutral i say.. though i dun really like the site manager.. who act funny to make pple laugh but had a attitude in work.. shall see..! cox hes a foreigner.

sometimes hate being lie by someone who i think is my good friend... but naturally, i can understand why this lie is said.. and times, i'm wondering does .. take me also as a good friend or somethings.. i hate to be in this sitatuation to be so concern about a fren.. and this had not been happening to me after so many many years.. mayb the feeling is because wad happen ytd i guess.. wierd me.. but i told myself again and again.. its nth.. okok.. nothing.. >.<

please.. i must wake up from my dreams, and face the reality!!!! but i dunno wad is the reality leh..

have been like half a year since my dad din contact me.. and i din contact him.. and wad happend that time when i was at chalet was jus like a show... no feelings at all..

its been so numb cox its been happening for the past 20 years..


hope things will be better.. and i will think better!!!